


empty swimming pools

by whenwordsflyoffthepage



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew and Renee are gay/lesbian solidarity, Exy summer camp au, Fireworks, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Swimming, more like annoyed reluctant camp roommates to tentative boyfriends, someone teach me how to tag, sorta enemies to lovers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 17:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15369336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenwordsflyoffthepage/pseuds/whenwordsflyoffthepage
Summary: Exy Summer Camp AU ft. Fox shenanigans, disaster gays, obligatory pool scenes, and two boys who spend way too much time on a roof





	empty swimming pools

**Author's Note:**

> welcome friends! for this year's aftg summer exchange I received some awesome prompt ideas and somehow created this AU which is way longer than I intended it to be, but I mean who doesn't love a good summertime fic, right?
> 
> Isra, I hope you enjoy this fic and thanks for the prompts that caused my mind to spin out of control and somehow write this all down, it was a great summer project!
> 
> also if anyone was wondering the title comes from "swimming pools" by Troye Sivan

Neil ignored Stuart’s annoyed glance as he rolled down the window, closing his eyes against the rushing wind that carried in the sticky heat from outside and swirled through his hair. For one of the first times in his life, he was actually happy that Stuart was dropping him off somewhere. Usually it was at places he hated, like school, therapy, sometimes home. 

Home was only included because the quiet house tended to put him on edge, as if his past could creep up from the floorboards and pounce from the shadows if he wasn’t careful enough. Side effect from having lived fourteen years in a house where the slightest noise got you in trouble, and by trouble he meant hurt.

He hated therapy on principle, but at least it’d become routine by now. He’d argued against it at first but Stuart had insisted. Apparently watching your mother be murdered by your father right in front of your eyes made your own opinion on the matter obsolete. 

But Neil hated school the most. Boring classes, obnoxious classmates, stupid teachers. He’d started high school after a summer filled with trials and people digging up his family’s worst secrets. Not that anything was secret when the press was involved. Vultures like them had no care for a boy who’d just been at the center of a murder trial. The story always mattered more. So Neil shouldn’t have been surprised when whispers echoed through the halls, followed him into classrooms, and tried confronting him in the cafeteria. Two years later they still hadn’t died down completely but by now people tended to ignore him, because who wanted to be friends with a boy whose father was in prison with a life sentence?

School technically had one saving grace, but Neil preferred to separate Exy and school in his mind. When he was on the court with a racquet in hand, nothing else mattered, not the whispers, not his past, not the stares and judgments of others. All that mattered were the players around him and the goal lighting up red.

And that’s why he didn’t mind being dragged somewhere by Stuart this time. Last year he’d been upset and seething at not being given a choice, thinking his one year of Exy experience would make him look like a fool and that he had no place here. But this year, Neil was thrumming with nervous excitement. He’d been waiting all year to get back to Palmetto’s Exy Summer Camp. 

When they finally arrived Neil had to force himself to sit still through Stuart’s typical lecture on being safe, calling if he needed anything, and behaving. But as soon as his uncle unlocked the doors he was out, waving a quick goodbye and grabbing his bag to head inside the campus dorm the camp goers would stay in.

He tightened his clammy grip on his duffel bag as he stepped inside the building, cool air hitting him like a wave. He blinked against the change, and by the time he focused his eyes across the main room someone familiar was excitedly waving at him.

“Hey, look who it is! Hi Neil!”

Relieved to find someone he recognized right away, Neil headed over to where Nicky was sitting behind a counter that displayed a handwritten sign declaring “Check In.”

“Hi Nicky,” he greeted the boy. Nicky had been a staffer, one of the local college students who volunteered to help run the camp, last year too. 

“I’m glad you came back this year!” Nicky smiled. “How was your school year?”

“Fine.” Neil shifted on his feet, wanting to talk about anything else.

Seth snorted from where he was slumped in his chair, playing a game on his phone.

“Who thought it was a good idea to let Seth become a staffer?” Neil asked, though without much heat. He hadn’t gotten along with Seth last year in the beginning, mainly due to his constant antagonism of Kevin. But by the end him, Kevin, and Seth, along with their fourth roommate Matt, had settled into a tentative peace, which was good because it would be unbearable to spend the two week camp in constant hostility with your assigned roommates.

Seth just rolled his eyes. “Get lost, pipsqueak.”

Nicky shook his head as he handed Neil his packet of information, which included his room key and number. “Wymack may be a great coach, but even he can make mistakes.” Nicky snickered when Seth again rolled his eyes. Behind Neil the elevator pinged. “Speaking of the devil…”

Neil turned around to follow Nicky’s gaze and watched as Kevin walked off the elevator, heading straight to the main door. He couldn’t stop himself from giving a small, pathetic wave in his direction, which served to catch Kevin’s attention.

“Neil, good to see you,” Kevin said as he slowed down. 

“I watched your last game of the season from that link you sent me, you played gr-”

“Yeah, we’ll talk about it later, okay? I gotta go help Dad set up the court.”

And with that Kevin took off, leaving Neil staring after him. 

A small, stupid part of him stung at that short hello. Last year, the only reason Neil started enjoying camp was because Kevin noticed him trying to pull off a move that a former striker for the Sirens had made her name on years ago. Kevin was surprised that Neil even knew who she was, and then they got to talking about all their favorite past players, which led to them debating the current college, pro, and national teams, which eventually led them to continually annoying Seth with all their Exy talk in the dorm while Matt just seemed amused by it. They continued texting throughout the school year almost every week, discussing any game in any league being played. It was why Neil had been so excited to come back to camp this year, because he’d never had a friend before and against all odds Kevin was his first. Neil’s father definitely hadn’t allowed him to have friends, keeping him inside at all times except for school, and those who knew his past didn’t want to associate with him. But Kevin didn’t care, because all he cared about was Exy. But it was fine; Kevin was probably just stressed with the beginning of camp and they’d get to talk about the Olympic teams tonight when they got back to their dorm. 

“Hey Neil,” Nicky called out. 

“Yeah?” Neil questioned, turning back around.

“Oh nothing.” Nicky wrung his hands in front of him. “Just meet down here in half an hour!”

Neil waited a moment to see if Nicky would say anything else since he had an odd look on his face, but gave up after a moment and opted to take the stairs to the second floor instead of the elevator. The room number was written in sharpie on the key and he found it easily, just a few down from the one he’d shared last year, and he opened the door.

Then he almost jumped at the unexpected sight that greeted him. He’d thought Matt might be here already, so it wasn’t like he was expecting the room to be empty, but Neil had not expected to open the door on two people silently glaring at each other in the middle of the room. 

Neither acknowledged him and as Neil hesitated he realized they must be twins, or brothers that looked freakishly the same, as they were the same short height and had the same shade of blond hair.

“Umm, hello?” Neil ventured, not knowing what was going on. 

The boy to his right was the first one to move, his eyes flicking over to him quickly. Then he blinked.

“I win!” yelled the other boy as he quickly flopped on the bottom bunk behind him. “You blinked first, Andrew.”

The boy - Andrew - who’d apparently just lost something turned his glare on Neil. Neil forced himself not to shrink under his gaze and after a moment he turned away to climb up to the top bunk above his brother.

Neil stood still for a few more moments until he realized they weren’t going to speak first. “This is room 217, right?”

“Obviously,” said the twin on the bottom bunk. 

“Oh,” Neil said, unsure. “Do you know which room Kevin is in?”

“The Coach’s son? Next door with the guy with the spiky hair.”

A blond head peered out from the top bunk. “What? Disappointed you’re stuck rooming with us?”

“Oh, no - I’m...”

“Neil!” a loud voice interrupted from behind him, followed by arms trying to wrap around him.

Out of instinct Neil spun and flinched back, heart jumping from almost being grabbed from behind. He stopped backing up when his back hit against the bunk on the opposite wall from the twins. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Neil,” Matt apologized, hands held out in a placating matter. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Neil took a breath and swallowed down the unnecessary panic. “It’s fine. Hi Matt.”

“It’s so good to see you, buddy! The girls are downstairs, we should go meet up with them.”

Neil nodded and tossed his bag up onto the unoccupied bed that sat above the desk behind him. Matt was already talking a mile a minute about how excited he was and Neil went to follow him, but not before he accidentally locked eyes with Andrew, who just raised a brow at him. Neil had the uncomfortable sensation that Andrew knew what’d just happened was more than just a normal scare, but he tried to force the thought out of his mind as he left the room.

As soon as they got downstairs, the girls crowded around them. Neil was a bit overwhelmed by their excitement and all their questions, but especially by their demands of why he barely ever responded to their texts over the school year. He didn’t realize they actually cared about him replying. 

Seth herded everyone around to listen to Nicky as he went over the camp rules, which Neil ignored since it wasn’t like he planned to get up to anything besides Exy. 

Nicky must have said something ridiculous because there was a snort from somewhere in the crowd.

“Think that’s funny, Aaron?” Nicky said, turning to narrow his eyes at the culprit. Neil followed his gaze and realized it was one of his new roommates. “Actually, this is the perfect time to introduce you two! Everyone, these are my cousins Aaron and Andrew.” 

“Fuck off, Nicky,” Aaron grumbled, while people took to snickering.

“You can’t talk to your camp staff like that!” Nicky exclaimed.

“Shut it,” Seth muttered as he yanked Nicky back by the sleeve. “Time to head to court. Follow us.”

“Hey, Renee,” Allison said as they started following the crowd outside. “Are those the twins you said were coming who you go to school with?”

“Yes, that’s them,” Renee answered with a pleasant smile.

“I thought you only associated with nice people. They don’t seem anywhere close to nice.”

“Well she does hang out with you,” Dan smirked.

Allison shoved her aside while Dan and Matt laughed and Renee hid a smile under her hand. 

Neil thought he might have to lean towards agreeing with Allison. Though he was probably just biased over his annoyance that he had to room with them instead of Kevin.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Two days of camp had already gone by and Neil was feeling… well, not lonely, but a bit forgotten. Sure, he had Matt and the girls by his side, currently wrapped up in conversation as they ate lunch. And he liked them, he really did. In a way that almost surprised him. But he’d been so excited for a repeat of last year, to spend days doing drills and exciting scrimmages and nights in conversation with Kevin about anything and everything Exy.

Sure, the others could talk with him about it. But it wasn’t the same as talking with Kevin. With Kevin he never had to worry about talking too much or eventually boring him. They were on the same level of fanaticism about the sport. Around the others he’s too self-conscious to let himself go on a rant and their main interests seemed to be talking about school and their lives outside of Exy. Neither of which he was comfortable discussing when they asked him questions.

Like right now, for instance. Neil stared up at Dan as she attempted to include him in the conversation by asking about what he and his friends were up to this summer after camp was over.

He shrugged and dipped his head, mumbling a lie about his friends being all out of town when in reality they just didn’t exist. 

“Well.” He looked up at the sound of Allison tapping her bright pink nails against the table. He wasn’t sure how they stayed so perfect while she played so aggressively out on the court. “I do have a car. And you live not far from here, right Neil? Like an hour? Probably only 45 minutes from my place then and kind of near Renee. I could pick you up and we could all meet up for a weekend or something. We can’t let your summer be spent only playing Exy.”

Confusion settled in Neil’s gut. She would go out of her way to pick him up so he could hang out with them? Outside of camp? Why would she offer that?

Before he could probably embarrass himself by asking any of those questions, he jumped when a tray was dropped next to him on the table.

“Nice of you to join us, Kevin,” Dan said, a bit sarcastically.

“How are you holding up?” Renee asked, with a bit more sincerity.

Kevin shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. “I think this is the first chance I’ve had to actually sit down since camp started. With the increased attendance this year, Dad’s had his work cut out for him. I know I’m not staff yet but I can’t let them struggle alone, so I’ve been helping get the court and equipment sorted out and under control. They should have it covered by now though. You’d think some of these staffers had never played Exy before.”

Matt snorted. “And tell me, how much have they liked being bossed around by the coach’s son?”

“Who cares,” Kevin said while stabbing into his salad. “I have the right to point out when they are being incompetent.”

“What a joy you are to be around,” Allison deadpanned. 

Kevin ignored her and turned to Neil. “Sorry about the room situation. It’s first come, first serve, so I couldn’t save you a spot. And those twins already had taken the room with three beds. Since they’re related to Nicky there was no way I was rooming with them.”

Neil couldn’t deny he felt a little better at that. “It’s fine. They don’t talk as much as him. Or at all really. They seem content to ignore me, and each other for the most part, unless they’re arguing.”

Allison looked over at Renee. “See? I still don’t get it.”

Renee shrugged with a small smile on her face, but didn’t offer an explanation on the supposed friendship.

“Well,” Kevin mused. “If they’re quiet, why don’t I come over to your room so we can watch the Court’s first Olympic game? They play against France tonight.”

“Sure,” Neil agreed, though he forced the excitement from showing on his face so he didn’t seem too eager. “Did any of you want to join?”

Matt shook his head. “We have plans to watch the women’s gymnastics team tonight. Way more exciting.”

Kevin mumbled something under his breath that sounded like “blasphemy,” causing Matt to snort and the girls to laugh.

Neil felt stupid over how worried he’d been that Kevin didn’t care to be his friend any longer. He shouldn’t have doubted him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Kevin held true to his word and showed up right before the game started that night. They set up Neil’s laptop on the desk under his bunk and settled in to watch the game. 

Neither of the twins acknowledged Kevin when he walked in the room. Neil had told them earlier he would be watching the game tonight but hadn’t gotten a response. As the announcers started rambling about the Olympic teams Neil saw Aaron lean over to grab headphones before going back to whatever he was doing on his phone. Andrew didn’t make a sound, but Neil had seen him reading a book earlier up in his bunk.

It was mildly awkward at first, until Kevin spoke up to correct something one of the announcers said. It snowballed from there, with Neil and Kevin holding a conversation about the game on the screen and one on the other teams who had a chance to win gold this year at the same time. 

After about an hour, Andrew climbed down from his bunk and slammed the door behind him on the way out. Kevin and Neil paused for a moment to share a look, then they shrugged and went back to the game.

After a grueling yet fun day of practice that consisted of them getting sorted into random teams and playing their first scrimmages, Kevin once again joined Neil in his room to tune into the night’s game, which happened to be Japan versus Brazil. They were both hunched over in their seats, faces close to the screen as they watched Brazil’s striker outpace her mark with ten seconds left in the first half. They were both holding their breath, waiting to see if she’d make it, and as she swung-

“Hey, Exy King and Queen. Could you go yell about your stupid addiction somewhere else?”

Neil jerked back in surprise, having forgotten that they weren’t the only ones in the room, and when he focused back at the screen the half had ended and the score hadn’t changed.

“Wait! How did she miss that?”

Kevin turned in his seat and glared up towards where Andrew was blankly staring at them over the edge of his bunk. “I don’t know either. _Someone_ chose that exact moment to distract me.”

“Seems I have good timing,” Andrew said flatly. Kevin’s eyes narrowed. “What? Upset about that dumb game?”

“Exy isn’t dumb and it’s not just a game, it’s a sport,” Kevin fumed. “You should know, considering you play it.”

Andrew faked a look of surprise, which was the first expression Neil’d seen on his face besides either complete blankness or faint annoyance. “It’s called Exy? After all this time and I never knew. Aaron, you should’ve told me.”

Aaron didn’t hear them through his headphones.

“Then why are you here?” Kevin complained. “You barely participate in drills and scrimmages anyways. Why come here just to waste everyone’s time?”

Andrew tilted his head as he stared down at Kevin, his eyes wandering to Neil and then back. That blank look was back on his face as if it never left. “Better alternative to home.” The words were delivered with no inflection but they caught in Neil’s head. He didn’t know if it was because of a deeper meaning or if he was projecting. “Now run along, Coach Junior. Keep talking about the dumb game and I’ll break that laptop.”

Kevin stood up and huffed. “Whatever. I’m not going to stick around and listen to your poor attitude. Japan’s going to win anyways.” And with that he stormed out of the room.

Neil was left staring after him, alone in front of the flashing screen. He could feel annoyance bubbling up under this skin and took a breath in an attempt to dissipate it. It didn’t work.

“Was that really necessary?” He tried to keep his voice even when he looked up at Andrew, who hadn’t moved. “You should have just asked us to go somewhere else. No need to be an ass about it.”

“What? Sad your boyfriend left you behind? Why don’t you go chase after him?”

“Fuck you,” Neil spat before he could stop himself, anger threading itself through his voice. He slammed his laptop closed and grabbed his keys so he could cool off outside. It wasn’t until he was out there that he realized he’d pretty much done what Andrew’d said and ran off, though not to find Kevin. He sighed. Why did he have to get stuck with Andrew as a roommate?

  
  


* * *

  
  


Unfortunately, Neil’s annoyance hadn’t faded by the time he woke up the next morning. He pointedly avoided Andrew’s eyes as he got dressed and left for breakfast, not that the other boy was even paying him any attention.

He noticed Matt and Dan exchanging looks at the table but if it was about his chilly mood, they didn’t mention it directly to him. 

Kevin always woke up early to go set up the court with his dad so Neil didn’t see him until the day was officially starting. As they listened to Wymack sort them into temporary teams, Kevin came to stand by him and gave Neil his customary nod in greeting. Some of his mood lightened slightly at that, relieved that Kevin didn’t blame him for how last night ended. 

With that worry behind him, the rest of the day should’ve gone smoothly. Except when Neil’s team finally got their chance to take to the court, he heard his fellow striker groan.

“Not again,” the guy complained. Neil thought his name might start with an A but he couldn’t remember.

“What?” he asked as they walked to their spots on the half-court line.

The guy shook his head. “Minyard is in the goal. Played against him yesterday. Game’s not as fun when the goalkeeper doesn’t seem to give a shit about actually blocking shots the whole time.”

Neil hummed in response as he took his spot and glanced down the court to where he could see a short figure in the goal, leaning on his racquet and not bothering to get into position.

Neil was so distracted that when Wymack’s whistle went off, it took him a precious second to start moving. Dan was his team’s dealer and had served, so the striker he’d been talking to before got to the ball first. He was good, managing to duck and spin around his backliner with ease and only took a moment to locate Neil and throw the ball in his direction. Neil put on more speed to catch it, then was forced to duck under his backliner’s arm as they appeared out of nowhere. At least his small stature was good for something. He passed the ball before his backliner could check him for that move and watched as it moved from his fellow striker’s racquet to Dan’s racquet, who had just made it up the floor to them. 

Neil saw an opening and sped ahead, making it in range of the goal by the time Dan realized what he was doing. She quickly passed to him and it was as simple as breathing to catch the ball and use his momentum to turn and fire it at the goal. 

For a moment Neil felt a smile rise to his lips, the adrenaline and excitement and satisfaction of making the goal light up red taking over, until he realized something. Andrew was a few feet away, still leaning on his racquet, staring at him. He hadn’t even bothered to watch as Neil scored right over his shoulder.

The annoyance from last night started rising like steam through his veins again and he clenched his teeth against it. He heard a distant pounding on the court wall but didn’t give it any mind. 

“Problem?” Andrew asked, shifting slightly on his feet.

Neil realized that everyone else had started back to their spots while he was still here glaring at Andrew. He wanted so bad to say something, to tell Andrew to play and give him a real challenge, to not act like the game unfolding in front of him meant absolutely nothing. But he knew he was being stupid. He didn’t even know Andrew. This shouldn’t be his problem to get worked up about.

“Hey!” a voice yelled across the court. Neil turned to start back to his spot and caught sight of Wymack pointing his clipboard in Andrew’s direction. “Pick up that damn racquet and at least try to swing at the ball. If I wanted a listless body in my goal I’d have gotten a mannequin.”

Dan snorted as the door to the court shut and Neil caught her eyes as she grinned at him. At least someone was enjoying themselves. 

Their scrimmages were only supposed to last twenty minutes each, so the game quickly picked back up as everyone, or mostly everyone, wanted to make that time worth it. 

The other team managed to score a point and then the ball went back and forth down the court for a few minutes as the backliners stepped up their game and started tripping up the strikers. The other striker on Neil’s team - Anton, Dan had yelled at one point - managed to make a shot on Andrew, who lazily reached out his racquet and missed by half a foot. Neil heard thumping on the wall again and agreed.

The next time the ball made it their way, Neil used his speed to easily outpace his backliner and get himself open for Anton’s pass. He used all ten of his steps to get in range and aimed at the bottom corner of the goal. He’d expected red light again, but instead yelped as the ball suddenly ricocheted off his shin guard, causing him to stumble. 

He looked up to see Andrew shrug as Dan rushed forward to ask him if he was okay. He muttered something about being fine and jogged back to his starting spot. He hadn’t thought Andrew was anywhere close enough to stop his shot. 

Two minutes later the same thing happened again, with Andrew redirecting his shot right past his ear, so close he heard it whistle through the air. 

But when Anton took the next shot, Andrew barely moved to stop it, and the goal once again lit up behind him, the light glancing off his helmet. 

It when on like this, Andrew barely attempting to stop any shots besides Neil’s, which he saw fit to launch right back at him. Neil’s frustration grew and grew, until Andrew’s last block made him have to jump to avoid a ball to the ankle and Wymack’s whistle sounded an end to the scrimmage. 

Neil stood panting and facing Andrew, who just ignored him as he walked past as if Neil wasn’t even there. Neil forced his hands to unclench from around his racquet and followed his team out.

He was so distracted with pushing down his own frustrations that he didn’t realize Wymack had raised his voice until it was too late, until he was standing only a few feet away. 

“Pull that shit again and you’re out, Minyard! I know you were aiming those balls at Josten. I won’t have any of my players hurt. Why don’t you put that impressive aim to good use next time?”

Neil barely noticed Andrew reply and walk away or Wymack huff in response and start to call out the next teams. 

“Neil?”

He jumped at the soft voice and a hand on his shoulder. 

“Sorry,” Renee said with a sad smile that made his skin crawl. “I had to get your attention. Let’s sit down?”

Neil silently followed her suggestion, raised male voices echoing through his head. His pushed the thoughts down, dragging his mind back to the present. It was just Wymack, just Coach, just Kevin’s dad. Not who the voice in his mind really belonged to. 

Renee offered him a water bottle and he accepted, watching as she moved on to hand Andrew one too a few seats down. Maybe they really were friends.

“Wow, Neil!” Nicky blurted as he fell into the seat next to him. “I haven’t seen Andrew play that hard in ages. I don’t know what you did to make him put in some effort, but you should do it more often!”

Neil didn’t respond, knowing Nicky wouldn’t mind that he didn’t. Besides, what would he say? It’s not like he actually did something, except maybe snap at Andrew last night. Apparently it was just his existence that made Andrew interested in aiming balls at his head.

  
  


* * *

  
  


If anyone had gotten their hopes up that Andrew would start putting effort into guarding his goal after yesterday’s incident, they were sorely mistaken. His usual laziness on the court made a rampant return on Friday, noticeable enough that Kevin tried to confront Neil about it.

“Come on, Neil.” Kevin shook his head as if Neil was the one being ridiculous. “Go antagonize him or something. It obviously worked yesterday.”

Neil rolled his eyes and refused for what had to be the third time in ten minutes. “No, Kevin. I’m not going to pester him into aiming balls at my head. That’s a dumb idea and I don’t have any reason to talk to him.”

Kevin crossed his arms and got a look on his face that almost seemed like a pout. If Neil wasn’t so annoyed he would have teased him about it. “What’s idiotic is usually I can’t get you to _stop_ running that mouth of yours. The one time I would appreciate it and you say no.”

Wymack calling Neil’s group up for on court drills saved him from further conversation. “Doesn’t matter,” he said as he walked away from Kevin. “It wouldn’t work anyway.” Andrew didn’t seem like someone whose skin you could easily get under.

His annoyance followed him onto court and about half an hour later culminated in him snapping at some player a year older than him who couldn’t figure out how to trip Neil up and block him without spewing insults. He decided to step off the court to take a break and get some water, and when that didn’t help he walked outside for some air. 

It was muggy and hot, the humid air sticking to his skin as soon as he stepped out into the sunlight, but it was also quieter. Neil stood there drinking in the fresh air for a few moments until he heard low voices coming his way.

“I don’t know, Dan. What if she-”

“She won’t! Stop worrying. You’ve never acted nervous about this stuff before.”

“Yeah, but she’s dif-” Allison stopped talking when she looked up from where she was whispering to Dan and spotted Neil. Her eyes narrowed. “What are you doing out here, pipsqueak?”

Neil ignored the dumb nickname she’d given him last year. “Getting fresh air. You?”

Allison and Dan shared a look. 

“Nothing,” Dan smiled. “See you inside?”

Neil nodded and watched as they went, Dan whispering something quick in Allison’s ear.

He didn’t think much about it until Kevin came over to see if he wanted to go watch the night’s game in his room, with a pointed look at Andrew in his top bunk. Neil started grabbing his things and mentioned the odd conversation he’d heard to Kevin.

Before Kevin could respond, Andrew muttered, “Allison’s an idiot.”

“Why would you say that?” Neil asked, confused on why Andrew’d even commented. But apparently he was done talking for the night.

  
  


* * *

  
  


_The stairs creaked under his feet and he cringed, counting to ten before he dared to move again. Not that they would hear him over his father’s growing voice._

__

__

_Cold sweat dripped down his spine as he got far enough down the stairs that he could peak through the railings and see into the kitchen, just in time to see his mother’s head snap to the side as his father swung._

_The familiar fear coursing through his veins made his father’s yelling blur in his ears, words indistinguishable. Fights like this weren’t at all uncommon, but he’d noticed that his father seemed angrier lately, quicker to explode and lash out, hits landing harder than ever before. He had the sore ribs to prove it and if he didn’t want it worse he should go back upstairs. But the thought of leaving his mother alone…_

_She spit something back at him, and Neil watched, frozen with growing horror, as his father’s hand inched towards the knife rack on the counter behind him. He willed himself to scream, to intervene, to do_ something, _but he was just as powerless as ever as he witnessed his father pick up the knife, all control gone, raise it up, and then-_

Neil barely suppressed his scream as he shot up in bed, clutching his chest. _A dream,_ he told himself, _just a dream._ Except it wasn’t. It was a memory.

Feeling nauseous, he scrambled down from his bunk and slipped out of his room, walking to the stairwell until he realized the front doors might be locked. Or monitored? He had no idea. Hesitating, he glanced down the stairs, then turned and headed upwards instead. 

He’d guessed right. A door marked roof access stood in front of him. He thought he might have to pick it, but the handle gave under his hand and the door swung open, releasing a low creaking noise. 

Stepping outside and feeling the cool night air was a relief, a reminder of where he actually was. He no longer had to endure that house in Baltimore, hadn’t been back since that night and never would return in the future. 

He didn’t realize he’d closed his eyes to breathe in the cool air until he caught a whiff of smoke and opened them, gaze locking on the pinpoint of light coming from a lit cigarette across the roof. He slowly followed the cigarette to the hand, hand to the arm, arm to the blank face of none other than Andrew Minyard. Just his luck. 

They both stayed silent for what felt like a very long minute, time stretching, until Neil took a step back.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he started to turn around.

Silence. Then, “I don’t own the roof.”

Neil turned back to see Andrew facing back to the campus, his exhaled smoke quickly fading into the night. He hesitated, not sure if Andrew’s statement really was some type of weird offer, but the desire not to be cooped up inside won out. 

Neil quietly walked to the edge of the roof and sat a good distance away from Andrew, concentrating on keeping his breathing even and thoughts on the stars he could see above him. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there in silence, probably an hour, maybe more, but Neil eventually got up to head inside once his mind felt more settled and sleep seemed determined to take him under. He’d just climbed into bed when the door to their room opened to admit Andrew. They again locked eyes in the faint light of the hallway before the door closed. Neil turned so his back was to the room and told himself not to dwell on the odd fact that he’d manage to sit in silence with Andrew for an hour, and it hadn’t been uncomfortable.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Neil groaned as Dan and Allison grabbed his hands, pulling him along to the pool when he’d much rather take a nap after his restless sleep last night. But after half a day’s worth of practice Wymack had announced the pool was open for the rest of the afternoon for everyone to enjoy. Everyone else had cheered, while Neil’d almost managed to hide in his dorm until Allison realized he was missing.

Renee and Matt, who were holding the towels, placed them in a grassy spot under the shade of a tree so everyone could sit down. Allison quickly peeled her shirt off, revealing her bikini underneath, and turned to ask Dan to put sunscreen on her back. Dan, already busy helping Matt, told Allison that Renee could help her. This was followed by a wink, though Neil didn’t understand why.

“I don’t mind,” Renee said, scooting up behind Allison and taking the bottle of sunscreen from her hand. 

Allison nodded and faced forward. She must be a bit sensitive to the sun, as her cheeks looked to already be turning a faint pink.

Kevin plopped down next to him, skin left white with the excessive amount of sunscreen he had on. In response to Neil’s raised eyebrow, Kevin informed him, “Sunscreen can help prevent skin cancer.” Seth snorted as he walked by.

“Who’s up for water volleyball?” Nicky asked excitedly, tossing the volleyball in his hands and fumbling it as it came down. Aaron stopped it from rolling away with his foot as he scowled at Nicky’s antics.

“I’m in!” Dan sprung up and scooped up the ball as she ran to the pool. “Last one in has to be on Matt’s team!”

“No fair!” Matt called out, running after her. “I’m not that bad!”

Allison stood up to join them while piling her long hair in a bun, probably to keep it out of the water. Renee trailed behind her, gesturing for Neil to follow them and giving him a slight smile when he shook his head.

Nicky turned to look at Aaron and Andrew with a hopeful grin on his face. Andrew sat down on the grass without a word, laid back, and draped an arm over his eyes. Aaron tossed his towel on the ground besides him and walked off in the direction of a brown haired girl who was waving him over.

Nicky sighed at the lost causes that were the twins, then suddenly turned to Neil and Kevin. “Come on, guys! Let’s go!”

Kevin nodded, stretching before heading towards the pool. Nicky followed him for a moment before realizing Neil wasn’t with them. 

“Neil, please join us. It’ll be fun!”

Neil shook his head, staring down at his hands in his laps as he resisted the urge to pick at his nails. “No thanks.”

“ _Really?_ ” Nicky pleaded. “You don’t have to play if you don’t want to. You can just hang out with us. We will-”

“I don’t feel like it,” he lied.

“But you won’t even have to-”

“Shut up and leave, Nicky,” Andrew cut in. Nicky and Neil both glanced over to see Andrew hadn’t moved a muscle, face still mostly hidden under his arm. 

“But-”

“I said drop it.”

Nicky hesitated for another moment before huffing and leaving, though he did give Neil a small wave over his shoulder as he went.

Thankful his first round of declining (of possibly many) going swimming was over, Neil grabbed the book _The History of Exy: A New Sport for the New Age,_ that Kevin’d given him to read and laid out on his stomach. He opened the cover and trailed over the message Kayleigh Day, Exy creator and Kevin’s mom, had left him. She must have gifted it to Kevin before she died. Underneath her message was one from Coach Wymack, who had also written the foreward for the book. His heart ached in a weird way. He wouldn’t say he was jealous of Kevin for having parents that obviously loved him, that left him well wishes and fond memories. It just made him think of how he had nothing good left from his childhood at all.

“You can’t swim?” Andrew asked, taking Neil out of his thoughts. It was obviously a question but with his flat tone it sounded more like a statement or observation.

“I can,” Neil said, eyes drifting towards the pool where the others were just finishing setting up a net.

He heard a rustle of clothing and his eyes were pulled to Andrew. His arm was held slightly above his face now so he could look at Neil.

“Then why won’t you go in?”

Neil swallowed and his eyes jumped back to the book in front of him. He reread the messages Kayleigh and Wymack had left for their son to distract himself from thoughts of bruises and pain and the scars left behind, just like they had left him behind. He shrugged, unwilling to answer.

Andrew hummed, apparently understanding he’d reached a dead end, and retreated back into the uncaring mood that surrounded him like the humid air that stuck to their skin, cloying and unrelenting.

Neil read Wymack’s foreward, then couldn’t help the words that seemed determined to force their way up his throat. “Why won’t you go in?”

Another rustle. Neil glanced over to see Andrew switch which arm was covering his eyes. “I don’t want to.”

“You can’t swim?” Neil echoed him from before.

Silence. Neil watched as a bee floated past, buzzing loudly for a moment before fading out. 

He waited another few seconds before accepting Andrew wouldn’t answer him. He hummed in acknowledgment, copying him again. Andrew’s fingers twitched. 

“Hi,” Renee said softly as she approached. She grabbed her towel and used it to dry off before laying it down by Andrew’s side. “About what you said yesterday, do you really think the sewer system could be a better alternative than that warehouse?”

Neil was surprised when Andrew automatically responded, picking up some previous conversation that sounded like they were debating apocalypse scenarios. He went back to reading.

Half an hour later, the quiet hum of their conversation next to him changed in tone, causing Neil to listen back in.

“Your admirer is watching you again.”

Neil snuck a glance to see Renee leaned back on her elbows, face turned upwards to the sky. “You’re seeing things.”

He followed Andrew’s gaze to see Allison quickly turn away. 

“You and her are alike,” Andrew continued. “Bad at hiding things.”

Renee tilted her head in his direction, a smirk crossing her lips. “So are you.”

Andrew scowled, the expression catching Neil off guard as it was the most emotion he’d seen on his face this whole week. Neil looked away and heard a thump, signaling Andrew had collapsed back to the grass. Renee’s giggle would probably be infectious for other people, but for Neil it only managed to wring a slight twitch of his lips.

  
  


* * *

  
  


That night Neil once again found himself chased by a nightmare up to the roof, letting the night air soothe his heated skin and blow away the ash that felt caught in his throat. The fire in his lungs abated with each deep breath he took. 

Once he felt reasonably settled, or at least in control enough for his face not to give away how shaken he was, he sat on the edge of the roof, legs swinging in the open air, the faint smell of smoke drifting over from where Andrew was casually smoking and not acknowledging him.

He remembered his mother smoked sometimes. Never indoors, but occasionally she’d sit on the back porch with the door ajar, hands trembling slightly as she used the vice to calm her nerves after a particularly tense day in the house. Neil never understood why it seemed to calm her down, to give her a distraction. His father was cruel and cold and loud and sharp. Distractions couldn’t change reality or prevent the inevitable.

Out of the corner of his eye, Neil watched Andrew grind out his cigarette on the ground besides him before lighting up a new one. The click of the lighter sounded unbearably loud in the silence.

“Nightmare?” The words drifted out of Andrew’s mouth on wisps of smoke.

Neil couldn’t help the way his body tensed up, shoulder hunching in and eyes downcast. At first he was unnerved that Andrew could read him so well. But then why else would he wake up at one in the morning and stumble his way outside?

“Something like that,” he answered vaguely. His nightmares were rarely just nightmares; they were memories.

Andrew seemed to contemplate this, taking a few drags before he settled on what he wanted to say next. 

“Truth for truth.”

Confused, Neil couldn’t help but look over, only to find Andrew looking apathetic as always and staring out at the dark campus. If he hadn’t recognized Andrew’s voice, he wouldn’t have thought the words came from him. Regardless, this offer interested Neil, if only because he didn’t understand why someone as uninterested in the people around him as Andrew would care to exchange a truth of his own for one of Neil’s. In the end he shrugged and nodded. He could always say no and walk away.

It didn’t take long for Andrew to decide on a question. “Why didn’t you want to swim with the others?”

Neil swallowed, both in an attempt to clear his throat and battle down the anxious feeling crawling up it. His arms crossed over his chest, as if this would keep the scars on his body from revealing themselves.

“I have some scars I don’t want to get asked about. And if I wore a shirt in the pool questions would have been asked. It’s easier to avoid the awkwardness of refusing to answer.”

Andrew nodded as if his answer was completely normal and expected. It made Neil’s arms loosen the slightest bit, seeing how unfazed Andrew was.

“What about you?” he returned.

Andrew’s shoulder twitched in what might have been an aborted shrug. “Never had the chance to learn.”

“Your parents didn’t teach you?” Even his father had allowed his mother to teach him how to swim, and Neil knew they were nowhere close to winning any outstanding parent awards.

“Never had parents.”

Neil thought that was an odd way to say it, since he’d heard Aaron and Nicky mention someone named Tilda who it seemed the twins may live with when they weren’t crashing at Nicky’s. But if anyone understood that you could have a biological father or mother and not see them as a real parent, someone supposed to raise and protect you, it was Neil. 

“Me neither,” Neil admitted in a whisper, heart clenching just for a moment as a faded image of his mother passed through his mind. “Not anymore.” 

A breeze blew through at that moment, sweeping through their hair and causing Neil’s barely tied shoelaces to flutter and snap, carrying his confession away so he didn’t have to face it anymore. He wished it was always that easy.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Neil didn’t quite understand the subtle shift that’d happened between him and Andrew, but if he thought he could deny it, Sunday’s afternoon practice proved him wrong. 

It was obvious to everyone with the way they were playing on the court. First when he was against Andrew during their drills and Andrew didn’t aim the balls he blocked back at him, along with his only reaction towards a few of Neil’s snarky comments being an eye roll and a quip back. Nicky had shot him a thumbs up, which he ignored along with Matt’s questioning look and, oddly, a raised eyebrow from Aaron, though that seemed more directed at Andrew. Kevin gave him a satisfied nod as if he’d completed a task for him.

Then they were on the same team for a scrimmage. Neil could tell now how Wymack was picking teams for these short matches, trying to balance the teams while giving them all a challenge with the players they would have to defend or get past. It made the game more intense, more real, and Neil could practically feel the tension in the air as Andrew blocked another shot and sent it all the way down to the opposing team’s side of the court.

Apparently that was the breaking point for Tyler, a striker on the other team, as he began focusing his attention more on cursing at Andrew and Matt, who was following him as a backliner. The insults he tossed around became sharper as the last few minutes ticked down on the clock, causing Neil to clench his jaw so hard his teeth ground in an attempt to prevent the words he wanted to throw back from getting out.

In the last minute of the game their dealer fumbled her racquet as the other team stole the ball. Neil could only watch as Tyler stepped past Matt, an obvious gleam in his eyes showing he thought this was his moment to show them all up, and shot at the goal. The next thing he knew the ball was soaring over his head and hitting the far wall as Wymack called an end to the game.. Andrew had impossibly been fast enough to deflect the ball just enough upwards that it avoided the goal, and had then rocketed it down the court as it’d bounced back down. Probably a bit much considering they all knew they were up by two points and the game was at its end, but Neil couldn’t blame Andrew with the annoying comments they’d all been forced to listen to. 

Tyler must have taken it as an insult though. Neil watched as he stormed up to Andrew, pointing his racquet in his face as he said something. Andrew didn’t even react beyond laying his own racquet across his shoulders, acting utterly disinterested and unintimidated. 

Wymack yelled for them to get off the court but neither listened. Neil felt his feet move as Tyler looked to his left to snarl something at Matt too before focusing back on Andrew. 

Neil was a bit behind him and to the right when he lost the battle with his own mouth.

“Maybe if you actually learned to aim the ball rather than spew bullshit and flail around your racquet like a-”

Neil didn’t have time to duck away as Tyler turned with more speed than he’d shown on court, racquet swinging with his momentum and coming up at an angle just perfect enough to clip Neil in the jaw underneath his helmet. He stumbled back a step, a hand automatically flying up to his injury, but it only took him a few seconds to focus back on the striker who’d just proved his point on how he flailed his racquet around like a complete idiot. But those few seconds must have been busy as a different scene now greeted his eyes.

Tyler was on the ground coughing, hands on his chest, as Matt watched on with widened eyes, and Andrew swung his racquet back up to rest across his shoulders. 

He then looked at Neil, eyes slightly narrowed beneath his helmet. “I don’t need anyone trying to defend me. You’re better off as a striker, not a backliner.”

He stood frozen as Andrew left in the direction of Wymack’s disgruntled “MINYARD!” He didn’t know what he was more surprised about. The faint, almost undetectable venom behind those words or the fact that Andrew’d just used an Exy metaphor.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Later that night with a bruise forming on his jaw, Neil didn’t bother to wait for a nightmare to lead him up to the roof. Andrew hadn’t said a word to anybody after the incident today and Neil didn’t understand what he’d done to piss him off. 

“What are you doing here?” Andrew questioned as soon as Neil sat down.

“Does it matter? You don’t own the roof.”

Neil noticed Andrew’s fingers twitch around his cigarette as his own words were thrown back at him.

Silence reigned, minutes dragging on, until Neil realized if he wanted to have a conversation he’d be forced to start it.

“I wasn’t defending you because I thought you needed help,” Neil explained. “I would do that for any of my friends.”

“We aren’t friends,” Andrew shot back, and Neil felt the words like the bullet they were. 

Andrew was right. Neil didn’t have friends besides the probable exception of Kevin. No friends growing up, no friends at school. How had he forgotten? Matt and the girls were probably just nice to him because they felt bad. Probably nice because he followed Kevin around so they didn’t have a choice. 

A voice in his head argued that wasn’t true, but it was growing fainter by the second.

“I guess you’re right,” Neil said, trying to convince himself he didn’t care. He cleared his throat and amended, “I would do that for any of the few people I can tolerate at camp then.”

Neil turned his head at the odd noise that seemed to come from Andrew but his face was as blank as normal. 

“Only the people you can tolerate? They seem like actual friends from where I’m standing.”

Neil shrugs, picking at a loose thread on the end of his sleeve. “I don’t really have friends. They probably just feel bad.”

Andrew actually turned to face him at that and Neil felt dizzy from the way he seemed to be searching his face for something.

“You’re even more of an idiot than I’d thought.”

Neil couldn’t help the small laugh that fell from his lips and closed his mouth quickly as if he could take it back in. He shook his head. “Are you attempting to convince me I have friends while maintaining you’re not one of them?”

Neil jumped as Andrew’s still lit cigarette bounced off his side and landed in the space between them. 

“Shut your smart mouth before you get yourself in trouble,” Andrew advised.

For the smallest moment Neil felt the flicker of memories in the back of his mind threatening to spark up but he reminded himself he was on the roof with Andrew. And for some reason he just knew Andrew wasn’t someone he had to worry about, wasn’t someone who had bad intentions behind those words.

Neil stared at the cigarette for a moment. He didn’t quite know what possessed him to do it, but he picked it up and took a quick drag, blowing the smoke out in Andrew’s direction. 

Andrew gave him a flat look and didn’t react beyond that. It made Neil wonder how many ridiculous things he could do around the other boy before he got a real reaction. He didn’t know what it said about him that it sounded like a challenge.

“Make me,” Neil smirked.

Andrew rolled his eyes. That was something.

“You wouldn’t like my plan to shut you up,” Andrew replied as he stood up.

“What is it? Pushing me off the roof?”

“Something like that,” he muttered as he left.

Neil stayed on the roof for a few more minutes before going back inside. It felt weird out there alone.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Over the next few days it seemed like their small group had settled into a routine. Neil would put his all into drills and scrimmages until his bones ached, Kevin would yell at him not to strain himself while yelling at others to pick up the slack, Andrew would play, albeit lazily, until Neil entered the court and then his goal ended up being near impenetrable. Aaron would send Neil weird looks while Nicky smiled too much.

For the past two nights Kevin and Neil had gone back to watching games in Neil’s temporary dorm, with Matt and the girls joining in. Andrew occasionally complained half-heartedly but not enough for Neil to feel as if he needed to make everyone leave. Aaron even started watching and giving input on plays, which surprised everyone.

And after the night was over, Neil would inevitably end up on the roof with Andrew, trading truths back and forth with only the stars as their witness. The roof felt unconnected to the rest of the dorms, as if it existed as its own liminal space, only accessible to the two of them. They could speak of awful parents and secret fears and trivial things like why Neil loved math while Andrew hated history without worrying about anyone else overhearing. It was an odd sort of safety, this space that existed from twilight to dawn.

So when on Thursday night Andrew brushed past Neil with only a slight tug on his sleeve as he left the roof and walked down the stairs, Neil had no idea what was going on. But he followed regardless.

He didn’t bother to ask where they were headed, knowing Andrew probably wouldn’t respond since he’d get the answer soon anyways. And he did get his question answered as Andrew quickly picked the lock keeping the gate leading to the pool closed. 

Andrew doesn’t say a word as he walks to the pool and tugs off his shoes and socks and rolls up his sweats before sitting at the edge with his feet in the water.

Neil’s mind felt sluggish, not quite sure what to think.

“You can keep your shirt on,” Andrew said, gesturing vaguely at the pool. “No one’s around to ask questions this time.”

Oh, Neil thought. Andrew was giving him the chance to swim that he’d had to give up the last time. He hadn’t thought much about missing out before, but now the idea sounded tempting.

Quickly giving in to the offer, Neil slipped out of his shoes and left his sweats behind as he jumped in the water.

He came up spitting out a stream of water and laughed when Andrew gave him an unamused look, wiping drops of water off his cheek from where Neil had successfully splashed him. Neil saw Andrew’s leg coming out as if to kick water at him so he dove back under before starting laps across the pool.

He didn’t know how long he stayed at it, but when he felt his arms growing tired and body becoming numb to the cold water he swam back over to Andrew.

He was going to place his hands on the edge on either side of him but when Andrew moved back and spread his legs more Neil folded his arms in the space between them.

“Do you want to learn how to swim?” Neil asked, glancing up.

Andrew was quiet for a minute, the look in his eyes saying he was thinking it over. “No.”

Neil nodded and accepted that. A small grin crept up on his face again. “You’re like a cat.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow at him as he leaned back on his hands. “How do you figure that?”

“Lazy,” Neil hummed. “Doesn’t like water.”

“Shut up,” Andrew said, though it sounded more like a reaction than an actual command. 

“Make me,” Neil repeated his words from the other night.

He was expecting the typical eye roll, but instead Andrew tilted his head a bit as he stared at him. He seemed to hesitate, and Neil didn’t know if he recognized it because he’d been spending more time with Andrew or if Andrew wasn’t managing to maintain his apathetic look as well as usual.

“Yes or no?” The words came out in the same tone he always used but much quieter, as if they were another truth given up that was intended to stay in the space between them.

Neil’s chest thrummed with that feeling from the other night, the one that made him want to see Andrew’s expression crack and reveal a genuine, uncontrolled reaction underneath. So he said yes and wondered if Andrew could see the mischief in his eyes.

But before he could register what was happening Andrew was leaning down and pressing his warm lips against Neil’s cold ones, ice melting under heat. 

He’d barely finished that thought before Andrew pulled back and stared down at him. Neil didn’t know what his face looked like but he had a feeling it looked as startled as he felt. 

“Oh”, was all he managed to get out.

Before Neil could collect his thoughts to say anything else, Andrew was already up and jamming his feet back into his shoes. 

“You could have said no.” His voice had more steel behind it than normal, sounded more rough. This wasn’t what Neil’d had in mind when he’d thought about getting a reaction.

“But- I didn’t- I thought…” Neil stumbled through his words, tongue feeling as numb as the rest of his body submerged in the cool water. 

Andrew left without another word, leaving Neil behind in the pool, not knowing what to think.

He was still frozen with his arms on the edge of the pool and he didn’t realize he’d brought his hand up to his lips until his fingers registered the cold. He definitely hadn’t been expecting Andrew to kiss him, but even more surprising was that he didn’t expect to want that warmth back.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When Neil woke up the next morning Andrew was already gone, bed empty and blankets in a messy heap. He was missing at breakfast too, though no one else seemed to notice anything was out of the norm.

When they got to court and started warming up for the day, Neil finally spotted him. Andrew and Renee were stretching on the far side of the court, standing close together and talking. Something about the way Andrew’s shoulders still seemed stiff made Neil suspect what the conversation was about.

He was oddly jealous for a moment at the thought that Andrew had someone to talk about this with while he had no one. Neil was left alone with these new thoughts and unidentifiable feeling and had to make sense of them on his own. But how was he suppose to when he’d never cared about kissing someone before? This was completely foreign to him.

And what would Matt say if Neil told him? Or if he told Dan or Allison? They were friends with Renee first and if Renee was on Andrew’s side - if this thing even had sides, Neil didn’t know - why would they listen to him?

It only got worse as the day went on. It was as if they’d all stepped into a time machine and traveled back to last week. Andrew was playing more aggressively every time he was on the court and carelessly aiming balls at anyone, not just Neil for once.

“Why is Andrew acting like this again?” Kevin sighed, obviously irritated at the change in behavior.

“Not sure,” Neil replied.

“What’s up with Andrew today?” Matt questioned a few minutes later.

Neil shrugged.

“Lover’s quarrel?” Allison whispered in his ear an hour after that.

Neil sighed and walked away.

Eventually Aaron stalked up to him. “What did you do?” 

“What makes you think I did anything?”

Aaron huffed and moved away, grumbling something under his breath.

Neil didn’t know whether to avoid or try to make eye contact with Andrew when he finally went back up against him. For someone who spent so much time acting like he didn’t care and wasn’t interested in what was going on around him, Andrew was sure letting off some steam today. Neil refused to feel bad that he was the cause.

After the third ball flew by his head so close he felt the air move, Neil couldn’t keep that annoyed temper of his tamped down any longer.

“Would you knock it off?” he snarled, almost surprising himself at how sharp he sounded.

Andrew paused for a second as if also surprised but recovered quickly and took a step away.

“Why are you so angry?” Neil asked to his turned back.

“I’m not,” Andrew lied.

“Is it about last night?”

That question got him to spin around and Neil could make out the narrowed eyes from beneath his helmet.

He saw Andrew start to speak but quickly cut him off before he could deny it. “I don’t know why you’re mad. I still would’ve said yes if I’d known what you meant.”

The words escaped his mouth before they registered in his head, and when he realized what he said he was immediately thankful he was already flushed from the game. For a moment he wanted to deny it and take the lie back, but then the truth of the words struck him. He really didn’t mind that Andrew had kissed him. Unexpected? Yes. Would he have initiated himself last night? No. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t ever consider doing it again. Just for research, of course.

Andrew still hadn’t responded or moved by the time Neil’s quick internal debate was over. He could somehow feel the doubt coming off him like a heat wave.

“So stop trying to trip me up or I’ll break a leg and won’t be able to climb up to the roof tonight.”

Neil didn’t wait to see Andrew’s reaction before jogging back to half court. Maybe Andrew was right that his smart mouth was a bad thing.

The others on the court shot confused looks at him, probably wondering what just happened.

Andrew didn’t aim the ball at another person for the rest of practice.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Neil had expected the silence between him and Andrew to be awkward when he first sat down on the roof, a few inches closer than normal, but somehow it never was. 

Stars were bright pinpricks in the dark tapestry of the sky, still humid air clung to skin only to be brushed away by a faint breeze, Neil’s feet swung in the open air, and the scent of smoke spoke of long nights and truths and an unexpected understanding. Quiet, calm, a liminal standstill. 

“Were you lying?” Andrew voiced his question, breaking the silence but not the atmosphere surrounding them.

“We agreed not to lie, didn’t we?”

“Promises can be broken.”

“Not lightly. Not by those of us who know the real value of them.”

Andrew remained quiet, possibly mulling over Neil’s words. 

Neil turned so his right leg was resting on the roof, the left still hanging over the edge.

“I’ve never been interested in anyone before,” he started, confessing down to his hands instead of meeting Andrew’s eyes. “I get objectively how it’s suppose to feel, but I’ve always been distant from actually experiencing it. So when asked I’ve just said I don’t swing.” 

No response for a handful of seconds, then a hum. Neil looked up to see Andrew mirroring his position.

“Okay,” he said.

Neil frowns. “Okay? Just like that?”

Andrew raised a brow. “Were you expecting me to say that what you feel isn’t real?”

Neil’s hand reached up to scratch the back of his neck. “Um, no? I guess the few people I’ve told tend to seem confused at first.”

Andrew just shrugged in easy acceptance.

Silence again. Neil knew what he wanted to say but that didn’t make it any easier. “But just because before this I’d never-” a pause and a breath, letting his words muster up the courage to leave his throat, “that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize when something starts to feel different, to shift. If anything it’s making the novelty of it more obvious in a way. Confusing, sure, but not something easy to ignore.”

Neil forced himself to make eye contact with Andrew, willing him to understand what he was saying. He didn’t have all the words right now, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in trying to find them. But he’d like to think he’d learned a little of Andrew’s language over the past two weeks.

“Yes or no?” Neil asked, ignoring the hesitant anticipation crawling through his veins.

Seconds trickled down like drops of water. One, two, three…

Andrew leaned in slowly, as if giving Neil time to pull away. “Yes,” he murmured, right before they both crossed those last few inches.

If seconds were still like water, the heat quickly started to evaporate them. Warmth drying them out, as warmth met Neil’s lips. Burning temperature causing them to steam and rise, a haze similar to the one forming in Neil’s mind, nothing existing except him and Andrew and the point where their lips met and Andrew’s hands settled, one on his jaw and one in his hair. It was the burning slide of tongues and light touches causing shivers and shared breaths cooling the air and the understanding they’d built deepening and shifting and the overwhelming wave of all these feelings shocked and calmed Neil at the same time. 

When they broke apart seconds, minutes, years later, Andrew asked for a truth to match Neil’s earlier one.

“How was it?”

Neil bit the inside of his cheek, trying unsuccessfully to keep down the grin that wanted to grow and match his flushed face. “Feels like I just scored the winning goal.”

Neil gave up trying to suppress his smile, laughing as Andrew huffed and pushed his face away. He didn’t mind, too distracted realizing he’d met his own challenge; his ridiculousness had gotten him a reaction in the end after all.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Oh hell, Nicky,” Wymack grumbled. “Seth! Why did you let him man the grill? This was supposed to be your job!”

Neil watched the disaster from where he was sitting between Dan and Andrew at a picnic table, Matt on Dan’s other side wiping tears of laughter from his eyes at the sight of Nicky flailing his arms and making excuses as Wymack tried to stop the fire that consumed some of the food on the grill.

It was the last night of camp, practice having ended an hour ago, and coincidentally the Fourth of July. Both occasions were being celebrated with a camp wide BBQ.

There was a group of people loading their plates with food and semi-charred chicken. Others looked to be playing an impromptu game of soccer, causing Aaron to ask why in the hell they wanted to run around after the day of practice they’d just had, Kevin chirping in that practice was cut short and they were smart to balance it out with more activity. 

After Kevin’s comment Aaron got up and moved to a group of girls that were lighting up sparklers, one of them smiling when he made it to her side. Allison and Renee were sitting under a tree near their table, Renee carefully placing a flower crown on Allison’s head before leaning in to kiss her cheek. Neil didn’t know when that’d happened, but Allison’s blush clearly showed how happy she was about it.

Andrew was sitting by his side, methodically trying to finish the half done flower crown Renee had given him. Neil was trying to think of something to say to him when Dan called his name.

“Hey Neil. Remember when Allison said she’d pick you up so we can hang out later this summer? We’re planning two weekends from now so check if you’re free when you get home, okay?”

Neil thought they would’ve forgotten all about that offer by now but Dan’s genuine smile made him realize something he hadn’t thought true at the beginning of camp, something that Andrew had tried to convince him of on the roof one night. They really were his friends. 

He nodded, unable to contain his smile at this realization even if he’d wanted to.

“Did I hear something about meeting up?” Nicky asked as he dropped down at the table, apparently banned from grilling duty. 

“Yeah, you should come!” Matt offered. “Dan, Allison, Kevin, and I all live relatively close together. Neil and Renee are a bit out of the way but Allison would throw a fit if we left them behind.”

The others continued to discuss plans for this trip and many others they had in mind while Neil’s attention was drawn to Andrew.

“Where do you live?” Andrew asked, not looking up from carefully braiding stems together.

“Cayce. It’s just south of Columbia.”

Andrew hummed, nearly finished with the crown. “We live about two towns over.”

That might’ve been vague if someone else said it, but Neil knew Andrew’s words always went deeper than they appeared on the surface.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a whirl of laughter and ice cream and stories and the playful, energetic feel that summertime always brought out. Eventually the sun began sinking below the horizon and stars started winking into existence overhead, as if excited it was their turn to come out and enjoy the world.

Hoodies were grabbed, blankets spread on the grass, everyone shoulder to shoulder as they either sat back or laid on the ground, anticipating the show to come.

It started with a bang as the first firework exploded in the sky, orange sparks fizzling and slowly raining down. Blue followed, then red, then every color imaginable was vying to be the brightest. Fireworks whizzed and sparked and popped and blew and did their best to taint the air with a feeling of magic, a feeling that anything could be possible.

Multiple fireworks being shot off in quick succession signaled the start of the finale. So engrossed in the display Neil was almost startled when he felt a hand slide into his. He looked over to see Andrew’s head turning quickly back up to the sky, acting as if nothing out of the norm was happening. But the warm fingers entwined with his said otherwise.

And if Neil felt as bright as the fireworks lighting up the sky, well that could be another truth that was all for them.


End file.
